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January 24, 2008

What a difference a year makes

As February fast approaches I'm reminded what amazing things can happen in a years time. This time last year I was a lost soul looking for something. I was looking in beer cans and and shot glasses. (man does that make me sound like I was an alcoholic?!) I had a good time doing it. Do I regret it? Not at all. Do I want to do it again? Nope. I thought having fun with the help of a drink with some friends was a good time. I was always smiling when I had a drink with friends.

Rewind even further, three years ago. I was depressed, I was calling out to God in a "Please help me God, I'm going into a life changing surgery, I need you, you gave me a Christian doctor, I remember you from church, "your only begotten son blah blah blah" please guide the doctors knife as he slices and dices me. Oh your done? I'm recovered? Awesome! Thanks God Ill talk to ya later... sucker." Hrm... it almost pains me to write that, but thats how I was for a bit. I'm ashamed.

Lets come back to last year. This time last year a lovely time wouldn't you say? Right. So after God saw how messed up I was and how much of a broken sinner I was he decided to step in and bring me back to him. He got me to goto a lovely college Christian retreat called Jubilee. I didn't really understand the power that Jubilee could have one someone, or at least the seed planting capabilities that it had. Boy did it have it. After attending Jubilee my friend, my savior and my God started working like lightning in my heart. He turned me around and filled that void that I had in me. He filled it so it burst and I wanted to tell EVERYONE about how awesome he was/is/forever will be.

I am filled with a joy right now, as I write this, that is so humbling. To see someone be used and abused like I did to my friend; only to have him come back and help me back up on my feet and dust me off, even carry me for a little bit. Its baffling why and how he does it. I don't know if I could do that. Its probably a good thing that I wasn't sent to the earth to save the population 'ey?

Its amazing what can happen in a year. A fall. A spring back. A Joyous sunny season. As that Jubilee thing approaches again I am renewed with a faith that is in a new better place. I approach this conference with a heart for Jesus and a calling to do his work. To be a light for him. To help other college kids like myself. Knowing if I want to succeed I need to keep my eye looking upwards and my heart opened.


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