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February 7, 2008

Something's Missing.

35"Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? 35It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out. "He who has ears to hear, let him hear.""
- Luke 14:34

For the past few days I have been feeling like a void is within me, like something isn't there, something is missing. Sounds like a pretty existentialist thing to say but it's true. It's really be kinda hard for me to think that this void has been brought on by actions I've been doing and/or rather actions I haven't been doing. I've been going though some busy times in school. I switched my major this semester and it's kind of a whole new world I had figured out how to do what I had wanted to do and what I needed to do.

When I was in my previous major I was able to make time for work, friends, church and just procrastination. I had formed a schedule that let me do what I wanted to do and what I needed to do. Now it seems like I don't have time to do anything... which sadly means spending time with my God, my manual for life and time in communication with the guy that I owe my life to, Jesus. I didn't till quite literally just now, realize what was missing. I feel like a fool for not realizing this. This happened to me once already but I don't want it to happen again. I think as I sit here writing this Jesus is using the void to make me realize that I am not "filling my tank" with the word of God. Sadly something I always struggle with

As I sit here I'm listening to some podcasts of my pastors sermons and as I sit here something that my pastor said during one of his prayers, "We need you! Without you we are nothing! Without you we can do nothing." I needed to hear that, that was God reminding that yes I am getting busy and yes its tough but I need to remember that I need a wonderful counselor, mighty God, everlasting father, prince of peace. I need peace right now, I need someone I can talk to, I need someone to pick me up.

I continue to struggle with finding the time to do anything right now... but I need to find that time... i need that time to "fill my tank" Nothings going to work without my fuel.

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