Remember Missing Baby Jesus?

Remember last year when I wrote about how fitting it was that our baby Jesus went missing? Well I couldn't take it anymore and I decided upon myself to make another one. I was tired of looking at an empty "Jesus-less" manger. I know its simple and silly but I was tired of it! 

I can go into deep thoughts and reflect even more on what that means for me personally, in regards to my last post but I'll spare you that (for now) and just post the pics of the baby Jesus I sculpted.

I think too much about little things, I should have been a Philosophy Major

My grandmother made two ceramic nativity scenes years ago. My mother and her sister absolutely love each of them, so they swap them every couple of years, this year it was my mothers turn for the larger scaled one. As she is unpacking the pieces, as the last piece is unwrapped and placed in its respectful place within the scene, she lets out a little laugh... baby Jesus is missing.

That spoke worlds to me. It speaks worlds about the modern view of Christmas and Jesus.

There now lies a Fisher Price red overall wearing dollhouse toddler in the manger. It is kind of comical in retrospect; but because I think too much... it meant so much more than "whoops" to me.

Somtetimes Art Reflects Life and others Life Reflects Art...

A lot of time people are like paintings;  from afar they may look perfect and pristine, but as you get closer you start to see their flaws and imperfections.  The closer you get to people (and yourself) the more you see your/their imperfections.

Seasons

     I’m realizing as I get more and more involved in the christian culture that people talk about seasons in more than a simple weather terminology. I had never heard this before. A season of life, of the year. There can be many seasons of... something in one weather season.
     I have always believed in life changes happening around season changes. The end of the summer came and that ended my stint in Philly and i moved back to Jersey. As I moved to the place where everyone vacations too; all those vacationers were making their way back to wherever they lived. Having grown up here I have always seen this. In April we would see businesses start preparing for the onslaught of new people to, sadly, take advantage of with the high prices and cheap products. May would bring the population of my area up 200-300% Then in August a mass exodus would happen. Students leaving for school, vacation families leaving, some businesses closing. Another “season” on the books.
     It’s always easier to see what lead up to the closing of a season when it’s not your own. I’m back home in Jersey. Trying to figure out what my time here is meant to teach me. its showing me a lot of things. Good thing and bad things both about myself and what has become of my family over the past four years. ( when I was in school I didn’t go home very often during school ). This very short time has already shown me the way God has worked within me as I have
     Sitting here and hearing and seeing the suburban antics makes me realize more and more I am an Urban dweller and my heart is in the city; but for this season of my life I, for some reason, I am in a shore suburbanite... I know I’ll learn and be stretched during this season... I just hope that before the next season, I am onto my personal next season.


For now... my only seasonal chore is to... job hunt and get a friggin job! haha

Family Dinner

I remember being a kid and just loving when my whole family got together to sit down and eat a dinner together, no matter what it was, i loved it. It could be hot dogs with mac n’ cheese or the occasional steak and veggies. It was so good sitting around with my siblings crying, mom trying to deal with babies, the younger siblings spilling drinks, running away from the table, dad tormenting all of us and mom yelling at him for doing such. Sitting around hearing Dad tell stories for how he did dumb things and got in trouble or, in the more fun situations, didn’t. Sometimes he would give us ideas on how to get in trouble and mom would give a good, “Jim! Don’t tell them that!” I would just smile and be silent.
Soon those dinners went quickly away to more of a rushed dinner so we could get back to homework, or off to this, that or the other. Dad was working more, I was old enough to not always be home for dinner, it was rare to have those family dinners; but, when we did have them... all those things came back and I loved it. Still do!
Today I was sitting in church as I do every Sunday, listening to the sermon, then we get to the point of communion. A simple yet such powerful act that has always held a special place in the service for me. The thoughts of having to leave liberti for a while was really rough, and this was kind of my last “family meal” for a while. That bothers me. Sure, I’ll eat bread again, more than likely drink wine again, probably even take communion... but its not with my family, It won’t be with my spiritual family; the ones I pray with, the ones I hang with and the ones that have frustrated me in the past, its all there, the family dynamics. One of the many thing that this family has that my biological family doesn’t... when my liberti family and I have bread and wine together... its so much more than just bread and wine.

Cant I just skip ahead a page or two

     Its funny how things can go so right for so long and then over night, nothing changes, but it just seems so wrong. I don't know what it is or what spurred this but my comfort has recently been shaken. I don't feel comfortable anymore. It might be a good thing, it might be just what I needed. One day I woke up and kinda felt that a lot what felt so right, friend ships, where I am living, who I am living with and where I'm going to school and the fact that I am IN school everything just kinda... turned upside down.
     For the longest time I was so sure that I wanted to live in the city and live the city life and just be here for ever. I have learned to love Philadelphia like that dysfunctional family member who you really like but they annoy the heck out of you. But recently, I've been in at a bit of a cross roads. I recently took a trip out to the suburbs of the city to a relatives house and I was sitting outside, on the porch with a beer in my hand surrounded by trees and greenery, I didn't hear cars, no screaming, no sirens, nothing but the sounds of the trees moving and the birds singing, and the people who I was with. It was so nice. I love the greenery, I love the fresh air, I love... not hearing the prostitutes on my corner cat calling at cars that go by. But at the same time when I'm gone from the city for more than a long weekend, I start to miss those sounds and cant wait to get back to the city. I really feel the urge to be here in the city and do... something. God definitely has me here for a reason... what that reason is, I have no clue. I just have to trust God's plan. His plan has been good for me so far so why am I doubting now? I don't know.
     It seems at this stage of my life God is not working fast enough for me, I think I have Philadelphia to thank for that. I recently had it told to me that I have no patience. Boy did that rub me the wrong way. We (myself and a group of non Philadelphia dwellers) were out and about, had no where to be, no hurry, but me being the Philadelphian I am had to get no where FAST. As we were walking, moseying is more like it, i would all of a sudden notice that I was like 5 steps ahead of them and they were back there stopped and talking. So I would stop, turn around with a sigh and go back. This happened a few times and finally I just asked if we could get there already, we could get there and THEN talk or we could walk and talk. Thats when I she looked at me and said, whats your rush? Slow down. "We've got no where to be except here." Thats when it hit me, its true I am learning to be a true Philadelphian, hurry u and wait, or hurry up and go no where. I have a hard time just being. I've always got to be doing something, if im not doing something im trying to figure out a place where I have to go.
     This has recently hit me again. The school semester is over and I have nothing to do... and I really don't like it at all. I am restless. I have to be doing something. I can't not do anything. I need to learn to listen to psalm 37:7 & 34 "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways" "Wait for the LORD, and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; " The key word being wait.
     I can't help but feeling like the kid who while reading, gets bored towards the middle of the chapter and just wants to skip ahead to the beginning of the next chapter. I think I am so ready for the next chapter, but obviously God disagrees, or I would be there already.